Sometimes I take the long hard road.
Like moving to a new state where I didn’t really know anyone, had no clients for a business and decided to open my business anyway. Because the dream of it becoming a reality outweighed the fear. When most people are thinking about planning for retirement I’m just getting started.
Yep, I take the less traveled road.
Let’s fast forward. I sell my refuge skin care business because after 25 plus years I get to move back home! As wonderful as that was, getting to move back home by family, letting go of my little refuge would rip my heart out.
The only healing would be there’s another refuge! At home…. and I get to work with my sister! The same type of business, with the same name.
The little refuge continues.
Then my sis is moved in her heart that it’s time to close the refuge doors. A dream that was birthed in prayer for over 20 years is ending…. or is it?
Now what Lord?
Through prayer and asking God what’s next, a new dream takes root and implants itself in my heart and it won’t let go. A blog. Another way to still connect with women and talk about things I’m passionate about! I love to talk, so how hard can it be? So many people are doing it!!
The truth is it’s been really hard! Harder than starting my business. Why? Because blogging is more than talking. You are putting yourself out into the world and you actually have to know computer related stuff! For someone who is getting close to retirement, diving into the tech world has been frustrating, challenging, exciting, scary and a million other feelings.
I found out that there are a gazillion blogs out there. More like 400 million! Yes, that many! My blog is like a little speck in cyberspace out in the universe somewhere. How will anyone ever find me?
Then I remember…. that God made the universe and he sees me. He sees my little blog with His name on it and He cares and He knows I’m trusting Him for every step of it. He has a purpose for it that He knows all about.
It’s enough to keep me moving forward.
How I began the blogging journey
I researched for about a year. Taking classes online about marketing, business, blogging, writing, etc. There is so much information out there and everyone has a different spin on things. “I can do this,” I kept telling myself. All those “beginner” courses have different meanings to different people! How about a clueless, older woman, nontechie, beginner woman?!
After researching forever it seemed like I was ready, so I took the plunge and I hired a web developer. They helped me create the look I was going for with my blog. Still challenging because even if you stress you are a newbie, baby wanna be a blogger, they still used techie jargon that went right over my head. This required endless emails and texts until I thought I would go crazy. After a few months, I finally felt like my vision for the blog was accomplished. I’m ready to move on!
Little did I know that the hand holding is over and you are now on your own! There’s still so much you have to do by yourself and it was overwhelming! Majorly overwhelming!
Wait! I have a dashboard on my site and I have to know the ins and outs of that? Did you forget I’m not a techie person?!
Analytics, keywords, SEO, What????!!!!! Help me, someone!!!
I prayed about it, argued with God about it….telling Him I can’t do this, it’s too hard, maybe I heard Him wrong….and every time the Holy Spirit would speak to my heart and settle the matter there. Keep on. Show up. I am your refuge first.
So month after month of frustration, feeling totally out of my league, and wanting to quit a zillion times, I kept showing up at my computer hating it, loving it and trying to figure this blog thing out.
I finally realized if I was to get this blog up and running I needed some major help. My dashboard was not cooperating with me! What should take 10 minutes to figure out was taking me hours. So I called the “experts” at WordPress and signed up on a month to month basis for help. I hated to spend the money but this was my last chance!
It was the best thing I ever did and I kicked myself for waiting so long!! Slowly phone call after phone call with endless questions things started to fall into place. I always started out my conversations with them by saying, ” Hey I’m a baby beginner and please be nice to me!” HaHa! They could be rolling their eyes for all I knew, but it helped me set the tone!
After about 4 months of the expert help, I finally went live with this blog and I have been showing up at the keyboard ever since. There are good days and still a lot of hard days but I’m determined to give it my all to fulfill the calling I believe God has placed on my heart. I wasted a lot of time fighting the fear but I have learned that passion is stronger than the fears.
There are times when I am still on the phone at midnight with customer service techs close to tears because something zapped, moved, or disappeared on my site, and I can’t make them understand what I’m talking about. So far everyone has been nice!
What have I learned about starting a blog?
That it has been one of the most challenging things I have done so far for me personally. Yes, the age is a huge factor. All this techie stuff was not my era, so I really was starting at square one. Yes, I can outdo my husband on my iPhone, but other than that it has been the biggest learning curve. Surely, I have created some new brain cells with all of it!
It has humbled me in a way like nothing else has, in showing me how much God believes in us. He sees something in us that on our best days we can’t see in ourselves. When He says he will equip you, He will dig out stuff in you that was always there but you just weren’t using it. If you just say “yes,” He will take you on a crazy adventure!
I write all this to encourage you that no matter who you are, what you have been through, or how old you are GOD CAN USE YOU!
Don’t keep your dream buried….let it rise up to life and trust God to use it to grow you, challenge you, stretch you and bless you so you can bless others.
In the meantime you will find me here at my little refuge blog, typing away about things on my heart that I am passionate about. I am praying and hoping it helps and encourages you in some small way.
Thanks, everyone for listening!
Until next time,
~pat
