Church. It’s supposed to be a place where our souls are nourished, where we feel close to God, and we’re aware of His presence in our lives. A place of trust with the most sacred part of us. Our hearts.
If you have been part of a church and experienced a division of God’s people and abuse of leadership, you know how deep a wound this can be.
This has been something I have been through, and over time God’s light finally broke through the darkness of all that happened. It’s been a time of deep reflection and prayer, wrestling with all the feelings and emotions that have come out of a deep soul wound from the church and people who claim to know Jesus.
What I’m learning.
I had heard other believers who had been through a bad church experience, and I wasn’t getting the magnitude of how crushing that was in a person’s life. I understand it now.
Truly I have learned a lot during this experience from a church that wounded hundreds and maybe even thousands of people. It saddens me to the depth of my soul to know that God’s sheep were led astray, and some may never find their way back. Souls that have walked away from decades of being in the church and now they may never trust the church again.
I feel thankful I’m on the other side of it now, and I still love and believe in the church. It was a painful process, though, to get to this point. From anger to betrayal to numbness, I went through it all. But I can honestly say I never thought of turning my back on God because He was always faithful…it was others who had lost their way.
This soul wound made me dig my heels in harder because I knew a real enemy was out to destroy God’s people. I was determined, despite the wound, not to give him an inch of my faith.
It’s time to heal, my friend, and have hope. Let’s see how—first, the warning signs.
Here are a few things to look out for when the Holy Spirit is trying to get your attention about your church but you don’t want to hear it.
This was my personal experience…
Lack of humility. This is a huge one. Leaders and pastors in the church have a lot of responsibility and power. I honestly think in some cases, those closest to leaders are afraid to speak up when there are warning signs, so they stay quiet and look the other way. Egotism is pretty easy to spot. If you see someone who is supposed to be your church shepherd or in a leadership position exhibit questionable behavior, it’s time to do some serious praying, asking for revelation to see the truth.
When you think your church building and the Pastor are the gifts. I can relate to this one. My spirit started by whispering to my soul with some rumblings that things were wrong. I didn’t listen. Pretty soon, those rumblings became a shout and then became a roar. My soul then had ears to hear. It’s easy to get caught up in the popularity of a building or a gifted pastor. If you are talking more about these two things than the power of God, it may be time for a heart check. If you hear yourself saying, “I love my church,” that’s ok, but not at the expense of replacing God as the ultimate love of your heart.
No fear of the Lord. If leadership in your church is saying things at the pulpit, and you’re saying to yourself often, “I can’t believe he said that,” it’s time to do some soul-searching. I was to that point with my church. I became increasingly frustrated and couldn’t remember the message because of the words spoken during the sermon. Pride, or jokes at the expense of others, and a sense of entitlement have no place in the church and its leadership when people’s souls are involved.
It’s ok to take a break and, at some point, try another church.
This was one of the best things I did. There are many wonderful pastors and loving members who genuinely are a picture of the hands and feet of Christ. It’s not easy at first because you will have your guard up. Be gracious and patient, and let God lead you to a church that is healthier for your soul.
What To Do As You Heal
- Pray. Reflect on how God has been faithful to you in the past, and tell your soul he will be faithful to you in your future.
- Ask. Rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit to lead you to a new church with transparency and genuine love for God’s people.
- Don’t give up on the church. It’s ok to watch a service online, but I have found my soul is deeply nourished when I attend in person. Take that first step trusting that God will lead you to a place of healing and restoration.
And God so loved the world…
God loves the church. His church. It’s not a building or a pastor; it’s a PEOPLE. He loves you; he loves me. We are His church. He is not returning for a brick-and-mortar building with a steeple; He’s returning for US!
I believe we are in the days of a great sifting of the church, where hearts are being revealed under the spotlight of God.
We need to stay planted in God’s Word and steadfast in faith until that day comes!
The Good News
God is coming back for those whose hearts are faithful to Him. Those who have held on for dear life to Him. In the meantime, if you are in a place of church hurt, let God be the one to bind up your wounds with His truth and His love. Someday He will make all wrongs right once again.
I’m sorry
I am so sorry if a church or God’s people have wounded you. My heart breaks with you. It is a deep hurt that 
takes time to heal. It’s ok to be a church of two for a while— just you and God.
He will lead you back on a path of restoration and wholeness in His timing and grace. Don’t give up on the church. It’s still a beautiful place to worship God and grow. In the meantime, let God heal your wounds with His Word gently and lovingly every day.
Let God be your everything.
God’s light can break through the darkest soul time you have ever had. I promise you.
Be honest with God about your disappointments and your hurts. It’s cleansing for your soul and the beginning of healing.
I’m so thankful I have found a sweet local church where the leadership has a heart for God’s people and where they point the way to Jesus. Where there is a true joy in seeing lives changed by people experiencing God’s love for them.
Stay strong, and be hopeful. God will lead you where you are supposed to be within His church, where God’s light shines brightly once again.
“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” Psalm 31:24
Until next time,
~Pat
